Hello, my name is Tiffany Ciara I am the author of the book, Where Were the Adults and I run this service to help adult survivors of Narcissistic abuse, welcome to my site. It has taken a lot of positive encouragement and years of deep healing work for me to be able to get to the point that I feel I am capable of being a source of help to others. This does not mean I am completely healed of parental abuse, or that some days are not hellish due to triggering situations, but I use my experiences, and those of my clients for a constructive purpose, to encourage others to move forward and become a more healthy and well balanced version of themselves . Primarily, I offer a listening service for adult children of narcissists and people who have been in narcissistic relationships.
What To Expect From A Session With Me What I can promise, is that I will give you the time and the respect which you deserve. I am bold, straight talking, extremely empathetic and truthful. I understand how it feels to never truly be heard, and to have your emotions minimised and ignored. My listening service, is exactly what it says it is, I will always listen. I cannot tell you how exactly to lead your life, because no one ever should, it is yours after all. But I will give you information on the topics you raise, so that you can make a more informed and balanced choice on how to progress, and hopefully I will encourage you to see that you are never alone. There are far more people in this world that have experienced a very similar pain to your own, there is strength that comes from knowing that. My Aim I want to help adults who may only just be waking up to the crippling mistreatment that they suffered from, at the hands of the people who were suppose to love them the most in this world. Whether this was a mother, father, partner or grandparent, I want to encourage you to move forward, and show you that you can live a full and loving life in spite of the unfair start that you had to it. I want you to understand that knowledge is power, arming yourself with facts about narcissism, understanding where it comes from, and the different ways it can manifest, are all instrumental factors in your recovery. I will continue to research and improve my awareness on this rapidly increasing personality disorder, so that I can continue to support survivors.
Steps Towards Recovery
Although it is easy to get sucked into a pattern of blame, victimhood and self sabotage as a result of being raised by narcissistic parents, from my own battle, and from listening to the stories of others, I can, without doubt confirm that it will not bring you any peace. Yet it is very difficult to know how to get out of these cycles when you feel that you are completely at the mercy of them. You Have Much More Courage And Strength Than You Think You Do! By being placed within the role of scapegoat or the black sheep, you ultimately become the one who will be set free from this cycle of abuse. You are the one that recognises the wrong doing within your family dynamic, therefore, you are effectively saying, "No more!" You are strong enough to challenge all that you have been led to believe is normal, and begin to set your own boundaries in life. You are NOT a victim, you are a survivor, you have found the courage to take back control of your own life and beliefs. Now is the time to discover your real personality and define who you really are, not who you were told that you must be.
The main reason that I started this website, is to help give some source of empowerment back to survivors. The likelihood maybe, that you have very few people that you can discuss this with, which only makes the abuse more isolating. It can be a vicious cycle, one that I want to contribute towards ending.
My site is based around my own personal life experiences along with research I have found relating to this disorder. I do not claim to be a recognised professional in this field but there is often no substitute for hands on experience, and I certainly have tonnes of that. Living through varying degrees of neglect, emotional and physical abuse, manipulation, triangulation and gaslighting from a very young age, and with little support from many other adults, largely because the narcissist, is highly skilled at covering their tracks.